


N.A.S.F.F.

by PepperThreads



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: F/M, M/M, One-sided Peter Parker/Harry Osborn, Parent Tony Stark, Slow Burn, Superfamily, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, end game Stony, end game parksborn, for now, past Mary/Tony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 17:43:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperThreads/pseuds/PepperThreads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I wasn't him, the oh so amazing father. The one who told him he would be back. I wasn't the one who LEFT him on his uncles doorstep. He wanted his "perfect" father. If he was so perfect, why did he fucking leave him there. He wasn't fucking there for him every night like I was. He's my boy. My son. Mine. He was my little boy and he wanted nothing to do with me. Me, who took care of him. Who worried about him. I promised him I wouldn't never leave him like Richard did."</p><p>" Then this is a very important week for you, isn't it? "</p><p>-------<br/>Basically I'm mushing in the MCU with the Amazing Spiderman movies with Stony and Parksborn goggles because there's just not enough older Peter mcu fics for me. The Ultimate Spiderman cartoon will also be mushed in because some of those ideas/plots are begging to be dissected. So if your curious of how all three of those universes can be shoved into one, read ahead!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony spills his family history to Yinsen. In other words, I was too lazy to actually write it all out as a fic and this is the quick pre-IM and Pre-ASM history to my Tony Stark and Peter Parker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm debating on just throwing the entire mcu series under one title or posting each movie seperate as a series. I'm sure the IM arc will be a lot of chapters so I'm really are I'll be going with creating a series.
> 
> Trying not to give to much away but I'm putting the timelines of each series by IM/ASM following IM2/ASM2 and the following timeline will have the ultimate Spiderman cartoon latched on. Civil War will be ignored as Bucky will come in much earlier and obviously Peter is starting off at the age of fifteen and not five! Steve will also be defrosted (that phrase makes me giggle lol what is he a frozen turkey?) much earlier. Please be patient with the Stony feels, they won't be getting together until Bucky comes into the picture. Peter is going to go through the same slow pining so he and Harry will be dating plenty of others before each other. 
> 
> know I know how many mcu rewrites can there be. Not another one! Well too bad I adore them, there needs to be more and more and more and more! Superfam fics too. I'm so happy they're so many popping up lately. 
> 
> Also I am horrible with titles, if anyone can guess what it means, cookies for you haha!
> 
> Happy Reading!

"And you Stark? Do you have a family?"

Tony's hand stilled above the game board. Damn. He should have avoided that topic.

He took a breath as he sat back on his seat, "Trying to distract me? Bad strategy. I can multitask like no other. I'll still beat you."

"No. Just..curious. You don't seem like the type to leave family behind yet you were practically willing to give up a couple of days ago."

Tony sucked in a breath as Yinsen's eyes peered into him. What he wouldn't do to have a pair of sunglasses. Maybe he should have added that to his supply list. Hell they brought him the washer machine why wouldn't they have brought him sunglasses.

"Stark? By your silent ranting, I'd say you do. A child perhaps?"

Tony sighed at the words, running a hand though his face. He gave in.

"Yeah. I have a son. Light of my life. Well the original light of my life." He said quietly after a moment tapping the arc reactor in his chest. The man huffed a laugh as he buried his face in his hands. Who was he kidding. He was avoiding any thoughts about his son. He refused to think about him. How he was back at home. How he was dealing with this. If he even missed him. No. Those were the exact thoughts Tony refused to think about. It was much easier forgetting his life back at home. Made it easier to miss it and much easier to avoid thinking about what he might be leaving behind, "Can we not. I don't want to talk about him."

"Why not? Do you miss him?"

"Always. Look I really do-"

"Always? Leave your boy behind often?"

"Well I don't exactly live with him all the ti- Wait. Hey hey, I can see what your doing. I'm not saying another word."

"Is that guilt I hear?"

"Of course it's guilt! I promised him I'd always come back not like that asshole Parke-" Tony stood up and started pacing, "Fuck. He must be devastated. The similarities. The plane. Being attacked. Going missing. Shit. What was I thinking? I should have stayed in Arizona. Fucking hell. I'm a shit father. Fuck. Surprise of the century."

He stopped pacing as a hand dropped on his shoulder. Tonly looked back to Yinsen's worried face, "I didn't mean to agitate you. I hope you're not implying that being taken is your fault."

"It's not- I just- It's complicated. Somehow everything with Peter is complicated." Tony shrugged as they took their seats back across their game. He slumped in his seat. Fuck he wanted a drink so bad.

"Will you tell me about him?" Yinsen asked after a moment, breaking the silence, leaning over the backgammon board.

Tony nodded after a second. He moved a game piece, "What is there to say? He's an angsty teenager. A beanpole. Gangly limbs. Like a spider. Kid has an odd fascination with them. Probably Mary's doing. She had a thing for them too."

"What is his name? Peter you said?"

"Huh? Oh Yeah. Peter. Peter Benjamin Stark."

"When was he born? A teenager you say? How old were you when he was born?"

"He was born in 95. He's fifteen, turning sixteen in October. Fuck I hope I'm there when he does. I was twenty-four. Four years after my parents died. Those years between their deaths and Peter's birth were a blur. I was a mess. I remember a lot of alcohol and/or sex. Really I shouldn't have been surprised I knocked up my friend. I would have been more surprised if I managed to wrap my mini-me in that state of mind."

"We met before you know. On New Years Eve 1999. I didn't realize you had a four year old at home."

"Yeah you mentioned that before. Wait. Are you judging me? You are so judging me. I'm spilling my guts out and here you are calling me a bad father for leaving the country and getting batshit drunk."

"I'm not saying anything. Sounds like guilt to me. And that you are avoiding telling me something."

Tony flinched at that. Yeah. Ouch. Yinsen was right on the mark on both points. Fuck. "Er. Yeah. His..his mother and his um-stepfather had died that year. He..and I didn't take it that well. I escaped to Switzerland to get my mind off everything."

"I'm sorry."

"Even shit drunk off my mind, I still couldn't forget. You know his mother was an extremely intelligent scientist. Give you a run for your money. Guess what type of woman I picked up that night. I always told myself that I always had something for smart women. That it had nothing to do with Mary."

"Sounds like you loved her."

"More than you know. When my parents died she was one of best friends. One of my few friends..."

Besides Rhodey, no one else was there for him. If it wasn't for those two, Tony would be underground with his folks. Obie didn't care what Tony was up to in those days as long as he completed the projects he was told to do. Between Rhodey and Mary, he was a somewhat function being. They convinced him to move to the mansion in New York. The Malibu place had too much of his parents to lift him out of the hole he was in. Truth be told, he didn't understand how the two didn't give up on him. He really didn't understand why Mary decided to start to date his fucked up self a year after his parents died. It helped him, don't get him wrong, but he really should have known the two wouldn't have a happily ever after together.

"I remember the day Peter shot himself out of his mom's vagina or should I crawled out? I don't know. I wasn't there."

"Oh for the love of-Stark. Stop stop. Tell me the story as it happened, stop embellishing-"

"I'm not. I am in no way embellishing this stor-"

"Babies do not shoot out of their mothers."

"Okay so I embellished that part. Again wasn't there. How would I know how it all went?!"

"You can tell me why you weren't there."

"Right. Well uh-she kicked me out to the waiting room and didn't let me in until the little burrito was born. Actually it may have been quite awhile after he was born. An hour or two. I don't remember. Pretty rude considering she told me I had to be there when I had no plans to. Rhodes pretty much dragged me there. Just to have my ass pushed into an uncomfortable chair for basically an entire day. Obie was pissed that I wasted a whole day."

Tony's lips quirked to the side as he remembered the day. Mare was so pissed off at him and refused to let him have access to the room. For what, he had no idea. She may have mentioned something about if he went anywhere near her when she was going through hell that she'd rip his balls off but honestly she was screaming so hard that he may have heard that wrong. She let her new beau of the time in though. Damn Parker. Yes he was bitter, so bitter, still bitter over it. So sue him. He could afford it. Even if Tony was torn about whether or not he wanted the kid, Peter was his flesh and blood not Richards. Course Tony was kind of the asshole who knocked up another guy's girlfriend so he may have deserved being shut out.

"It's not like she was his girlfriend when we did the deed!" Tony shrugged, "Look while I was doing all the work for S.I. when Obie was CEO and all, Mary worked for us too. Course she was more brilliant in bio engineering but we were both dorks in love or so I thought..anyways so she stayed with me as an my assistant slash partner. Sometime in 93, I think it was November..yeah she dropped the bomb on me around thanksgiving. Anyways, she was offered a position at Oscorp, fucking Osborn fucking bastard, and of course that little traitor took the job."

Tony sighed, "I was a selfish bastard. I hated that she left. I knew and know that she was better off there working to her full potential doing what she loved rather than helping and working with me on things I had to do. But I was hurt..a-and I lashed out at her. We fought and fought and she left me."

He still hasn't forgiven himself for how he had treated her. The next few months, they didn't speak to each other. Tony remembers diving into alcohol even more to numb the pain. Despite the alcohol, He clearly remembers stalking her and looking her up on Oscorp's files. The jealousy that burned through him when he found out her new partner was this man named Richard and that they loved to have so called business meetings at a cafe a block down from Oscorp tower. Not that he was spying on them.

"You spied on your ex-girlfriend."

"There you are judging me again! That's it! No more. Zip zilch. I've spilled more of my life than I ever had and I'm being attacked for it."

"Stop it, Stark" The older man frowned, leaning his elbows on the board, game long forgotten, "You've never told anyone this?"

"...no. Who would I tell?" "It must feel relieving getting this off your chest then."

"You have no idea."

"Do you want to continue?"

"..yeah. Just. No more interrupting. And no judging!" Tony wagged a finger in front of him, "Anyways remember how I told you she was a smart gal? She knew about me..um watching over her. For safety of course. Had to keep her safe from this guy pal of hers. So she came over to the mansion one night while I was neck deep in my work and she fed me and put me to bed like she used to do. The next morning we had a long talk and boom we are best friends again. It was as if nothing went wrong between us. Course she kept blabbing about some project with spiders and who knows what else that she was working on with Mr. Amazingly Smart Asshole Parker and equally an asshole Osborn."

Of course Tony went and almost ruined their renewed friendship by thinking with his dick. They attended a science conference in Boston early the following year in 1995 where he actually met Parker and honestly the guy wasn't that half bad. Mary and Parker didn't even realize they had feelings for each other much less that they have practically been dating each other. Hell they acted like a married couple. Unfortunately for Tony, it meant he had to watch the two pining all night. So to numb the pain of his heart being ripped out he drank. And drank. And drank.

Mary knowing the signs of Tony drinking his feelings away, cut him off and dragged him away to his room. " _Oh Tony. What am I going to do with you?_ " She had said. He remembers shrugging, " _Drink with me?"_ And so they did. Which resulted in another fight and argument which turned Tony on so bad. Apparently he had a thing for people who argued with him. Who knew?

He, however, did not have a thing for his bed partners calling out another man's name when he was buried deep in them. He stopped as soon as the name left her lips and they both just stared at each other wise-eyed before bursting into laughter as Tony pushed her off to the side. " _Seriously_?" " _Shut up_!" The moment was ruined and after they managed to stop laughing, they just cuddled together. _"So..Richard_?" " _Oh please shut up._ "

After the conference, they were still close friends. Tony, even though he was still a tad jealous see really jealous but was really trying to stop being a selfish dick, pushed Mary until she gave in and started dating Parker two months after. " _Finally! I swear you two have been dating for years without realizing it!"_ And then came the bomb that was Peter.

"So yeah. Three months after the conference, she realized she was pregnant." Tony sighed flicking the dice, "I found out when Parker came storming into my workshop and punched me in the face. And in the family jewels. Mary had to pull him off of me."

Tony winced at the memory. He was confused as fuck when Mary sat him down, placing an ice pack on his face.

" _Tony. I'm pregnant."_ She had said not even hesitating.

Tony narrowed his eyes. " _Okay. Congrats why am I being assaulted for it_?"

" _Because we've been officially dating for one month, jackass, and we weren't fucking before then which means it's not my kid._ " Richard gritted his teeth.

" _My doctor says I'm three months along, Tony_ " Mary said pinching her nose, " _Remember Boston?"_

Tony's pretty sure he didn't faint after that but if anyone says otherwise he'll just point the blame to the concussion the other man gave him.

"Anyways I freaked out. Hell I was only twenty four. I just wanted to party. And tinker. Kids weren't on my list till....hell never. I wasn't ready to be a dad hell my dad treated me like shit, I didn't want to be a dad. I have more daddy issues than anyone in this world and after speaking with Obie for advice, I decided to give them full custody of the kid." He frowned, "I was an idiot. I was such a selfish bastard. I was ready to just hand over my flesh and blood because I was scared. Who the fuck does that? Parker was so devoted to Mary that he didn't blame her at all for it. Hell I didn't either. It wasn't her fault....It hurt. Seeing them so in love. I didn't want to get in between them. So I took the easy way out."

"I remember when I first saw Peter. They finally let me in the room and that asshat was holding Peter. Looking down at him as if he was his own child. Smug bastard." Tony snorted flicking the die with a finger again, "I wanted to push Parker out the closest window. It wasn't fair. He had Mary. My closest friend next to Rhodey. Hell I'm surprised the asshole didn't take him as his bff as well. More importantly he had MY son. My baby boy. Damn bastard had everything I wanted while I had an empty mansion." Tony glanced up at Yinsen, "I had everything and yet I had nothing."

He scoffed, "Do know what the prick did next? He placed the little burrito in my arms and put his arm on my shoulder. "If it's alright with you, we named him Peter Benjamin Stark." He said it so casually as if it wasn't even an issue. That's not all though, he had to make it all mushy, "He might be staying with us" he said, "but you will always be his father, Stark. Look at his face, do you really want nothing to do with him?"

Tony shuffled in his seat, "I ended up breaking into tears and clutching Peter like a life-line. I didn't want to let him go. I think it was the first time that I didn't feel alone. That there was at least one person on this planet who would always be mine and stick with me. Rhodey took a picture of me at that moment. It's in my bedroom back in Malibu. Whenever I feel down, it always lifts me back up. Especially if Peter isn't there with me."

"They let you keep him then?"

"Ha. No. We talked about it while she was at the hospital. They wouldn't let her leave because Peter wouldn't poop at first. Did you know they don't let babies go until they poop? Pretty weird. Apparently Peter's little bum muscles didn't know what to do."

"Your sidetracking again."

"Oh right. Where was I? Peter's cute little bum? Oh yeah so we talked while Mary and Pete were imprisoned due to his butt not getting the signal on how to function. Blah blah we fought and argued but we finally agreed on having Peter being in their care for the weekdays and I had him on the weekends. Even when I was busy or out of state slash country, he went to Parker's brother and sister-in-law so the two could have a break for work or coupley things. I don't know I never asked."

He never had a problem with his Peter time until Mary and Richard were married months later and went off to their honeymoon. They left Peter to him and at first things were fine. Then Obie kept hassling about meetings and how he needed to fly from one side of the country to the other that week and there was no way he could do that with a 5 month old hanging off his arm. So Richard's brother Ben saved the day and took Peter. They settled into unspoken agreement that he and his wife would watch Peter whenever Tony couldn't. They didn't even ask any questions or judge Tony for it. It still had hurt to leave Peter and it still stung every time the same thing happened over and over.

"Ben is one of the few people on this planet that I can count on and trust. He was-is more of a father figure to me than my father or Obie ever were." Tony let his smile widen as he tipped his head to the side, "Did you know he was the one to get me off my ass and take back the company? That I had to lead it not work for it. "For gosh-sakes Tony, that's your name on the company not Obidiah's!" I'm pretty sure he pushed me to do it so he could have more time with Peter. He gave me that push to take back my life. I was doing good. I had a family, I reduced my drinking and partying. I was leading my company, I hired Pepper who I'm sure Ben gave a manual on how to handle me. The two are eerily similar when it comes to stopping my stubborn ass when I get all worked up."

"And then it happened." Tony's shouldered dropped, "Peter was only four. They died in a plane crash after they fled from who the fuck knows. Mary's body was recovered as well as one of the pilots. They both had gun shot wounds. Richard's body was never found. Neither was the co-pilots. They suspect he was the one who murdered them."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fucking bullshit. What the fuck were they running from?! To this day, I have no fucking clue and still pissed that they didn't come to me. All I know is that they left Peter in the middle of the night with his aunt and uncle making it clear that they weren't coming back for him. The police mentioned something about that they were selling information, bio weapons, secrets to Oscorp to criminals and warlords. Osborn, the bastard, actually look saddened by it all. I don't know the truth. I know they wouldn't. But hey I never tho ughh my weapons would end up in the same situation."

Tony never forgot that dull feeling in his chest when he found out. He recalled falling to his knees, Ben wrapping his arms around him as they all cried together.

"What broke me was Peter's reaction to it. He was so young. He didn't understand what had happened. He just knew that Mary and Richard had hugged him and told him they would be back. He would cry and scream all day and night asking for his parents. He would lash out at me, hitting me and screaming at me. Pete would ask for his Papa..when I tried comforting him he would shake his head and smack me saying I wasn't his Papa." Tony scoffed, "That I wasn't Richard. His oh so amazing father. The one who told him he would be back. I wasn't the one who LEFT him on his uncles doorstep. He wanted his "perfect" father. If he was so perfect, why did he fucking leave him there. He wasn't fucking there. He's my boy. He was my little boy and he wanted nothing to do with me. Me, the one who took care of him. Who worried about him."

"So yeah. I fell apart. I sold the mansion and moved back to Malibu. I took up girls and guys again. I fell back into alcohol. I left him with his uncle and aunt most of the time. I couldn't handle that I was failing my son." Tony gritted his teeth as a sob tore out, "I can't handle that I'm failing him now. I promised him I wouldn't never leave him like Richard did. That I would never hurt him like that. Look at me. Halfway across the world without being able to tell him I'm alive without knowing whether I will ever see him again."

"Hey. Tony. It'll be fine. You will get out of here. If there's anyone who can hear the odds, it's you. This week will just be the most important of your life."

Tony steadied a breath and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. Not sorry. I love angsty Tony.
> 
> This was meant to be a quick introduction to their past without actually writing a whole novel on said past but it still ended up being longer than I hoped.
> 
> The next few chapters won't be focused on the Iron Man plot, they will be focused on the Spiderman plot (Well besides the events leading up to Tony's capture.) They will be focused on Peter rather than Tony. Hope I didn't spoil too much away with that!
> 
> I will try and update weekly or twice a week but I'm a slow writer. I tend to write it out and then go through the entire thing adding more and more everytime I reread it.


	2. Breakfast at the Parker's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 14, the Friday before the award presentation in Las Vegas, Tony stops by the Parker residence. Fluffy chapter before the pain!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooo sorry this took long. I was ambushed with work and school and the fact that I was avoiding certain sites because of civil war spoilers didn't help. I've seen it four times already and I catch new painful things each time. Anyways, enjoy this chapter. I actually cut it in half since the second half, I feel, is more concentrated on Ben's relationship with Tony and this one is more of May's relationship with Tony. So look forward to that half soon! It's pretty much written already so it won't be a month until I update..geeze time flew.

Tony ran a hand through his hair as his finger hovered over the doorbell to the small house in front of him. Nerves ate away at his stomach. It's not to late to go back and change right. He glanced down at the hoodie and jeans on his body. Rocking on his feet, He glanced at Happy, "How do I look? Presentable? Do I look hungover? I hope not, Fuck I will get chewed alive, Happy. You just don't understand. She will murder me and then throw my body into the Hudson River."

She hates when he was a mess. The first and last time he came over drunk and reeking of alcohol, she hosed him down in the backyard, disappointment radiating from her body.

"You always look hungover, sir." Happy quipped raising an eyebrow, "I'm not sure if I should be offended that you believe a woman of her age can take me down to harm you."

"Are you fucking kidding me? She could take down Captain America, if he was still alive. Don't let her hear you being all misogynist. Unless you have a death wish, Hap." He ran a hand through his hair again and straighten his sunglasses on his nose. He also straighten the baseball cap on his head and tugged his hoodie down for good measure. Regret filled his body, "Maybe I should have worn a suit."

"That defeats the purpose of being in disguise. Here." Happy pushed the wrapped gift in his arms into Tony's as he pushed the doorbell. Tony started to panic as the chime filled the air. He wasn't ready. Shit. Abort mission!

"Wait!" Tony fumbled with the package as he turned to try stop his bodyguard as well as flee from the step. "Are you crazy?! I'm not-eee um..Hi."

He turned around, eyes wide open, as he heard the door creep open, one hand held up in greeting. Did he wear deodorant? Cologne? Did he smell? When did he last shower? Maybe he should have thrown some dry shampoo in his hair. Ooh he was sweating lakes.

"Anthony!" The older woman at the door wrapped her arms around the shorter man and hugged him close to her chest. Oh shit. Too close. He could feel the icy cold hose already.

"Ack! Wait wait May, I can't breathe. Your suffocating me in your breasticles!" Tony's voice was muffled. He peeked open an eye and caught his hat which had been knocked loose. He lifted his head up and exhaled very loudly, "Aiirr! Sweet air! Um not that there is anything wrong with your um girls, I mean for a woman of your age, they're a spectacular pair but if Ben sees me, I might as well throw myself under his car."

Happy chuckled behind him and interrupted his boss' dramatics, "Morning Mrs Parker!" How rude, Tony thought.

"Morning Happy! I've told you a million times to call me May." She smiled as she let Tony go, who whined at the motion, to give Happy a hug as well, "I hope your job has been easier since I've last seen you!"

"Hey hey. I don't like what your implying." Tony pouted as he clamped back to her back,"Look I brought you a late birthday present. That means I deserve a couple of more hugs. Come on. Neglected orphan billionaire here. Pay attention to meeee."

"Dad. Please leave my aunt alone."

Tony ignored his sons voice behind him as he clung to May's back as she chatted with Happy who was happily ignoring him plastered to her back.

Peter huffed annoyed, "What are you doing?! The neighbors will see! MJ will never let me live this down!"

No one could say Tony ever embarrassed his son, okay that was a lie, he cleared his throat as he detached from the older woman, "...That was me getting..trying to get the attention I deserve. You need to share the love Peter. You're not the only one that needs that motherly role filled." He straightened his glasses as he peered over them at his son. He grinned as Peter's eyes rolled.

"Well Happy is getting all the love because at least he looks like a healthy human being." May said pushing them all through the door. Tony winced. Damn he hadn't passed the test after all. Abort. He glanced at the door but she closed the door before he could rush out. She turned back to him.

"When's the last time you ate? Or showered for that matter. Look at your hair it's so greasy!" She pulled off his sunglasses as she peered into his eyes, "Those bags..when did you last sleep?! You reek of alcohol."

"Peterrrr. Help." Tony whined trying to escape the hands on his face, "I'm being nagged to death."

"You asked for it." Peter made no movement to help him. He'll remember that. See if the boy gets any birthday present over $100. $500. $1000. Okay so Tony had no idea what the average cost of a birthday present was. He usually got some kind of liquor sent to him from his dad. Or someone from the company. Oh hey, Speaking of gifts, Tony handed the flat box over to May with a grin.

"I heard something about being nagged to death. Did you get married Tony? Welcome to the wonderful world of marriage." Ben grinned from the doorway leading to the kitchen. Tony shuddered at the word.

Ben earned a glare from his wife, "He was taking about me thank you very much." "Oh. Well welcome to my life then." Smack.

Tony groaned as May continued her examination of Tony's appearance after she finished her attack on her husband, "Come on! I feel like I'm at the doctors. You'd be a great nurse you know. Hey hey come on, Open the box."

"You wanted the attention Dad. Now you gotta bear through it." The teenager ducked his head hiding a grin.   
Tony's heart swelled with affection at the motion. His son has had that habit since he was three. Ever since then, Tony had the urge to squeeze his son. Speaking of.

"Come here you." Tony pulling his grinning son into a hug, "Fuck, I missed you"

"Ben. Quick! Get the swear jar, that should be enough for a new dishwasher!" May chuckled as she carefully undid the wrapping of her gift. Tony rolled his eyes at the mention of the swear jar or the Stark jar as Ben calls it since Tony is the one to usually fill it in just one trip. He bets that jar pays for all of their utilities. He will throw a couple of hundreds in there. Just in case he was right.

"Daaad." Peter tried wiggling out, "You saw me last weekend! Gross, You do stink. Is that WHISKEY?!"

"None of your business. Wait. How do you know how that smells?"

"You drink it all the time..I've known how to tell liquor apart by its smell since I was a baby."

"Hey. Hey. Don't sass me."

"Ugh. Let me go. Daaad! Do we have to go through this mushiness everytime?! Come on! I'm going to be sixteen!"

"Whyyy, when did you outgrow hugs?" Tony mocked cried even if the words did turn his stomach, "My baby is all grown up. Who will I hug now!?"

"Pepper?" That response earned his freedom but also a flick in the ear. Peter winced as his hand went up to rub it, "Oww. Child abuse."

Tony grinned as he pulled his son back into a hug. Peter mock struggled, "Dad you're suffocating me. Oh wait. No you're not! I'm taller than you! ACK!"

Somehow the hug turned into a wrestling match on the floor.

"Say Mercy!"

"Never!"

"Say it Beanpole!"

"Ha! You say it Man-Heels!"

"You think you can hold me down, Scrawny?!"

Aunt May's voice rang through the hall, "Oh, Tony!"

Both Starks stopped in their attempts to pin each other's limbs to the ground and turned to the woman. Her eyes watered as she stared down at the unwrapped box in her hands. Inside was a bejeweled and sparkling frame with a photo of Ben, Tony and Peter working on the skylights of her kitchen..or attempting to work on them.

Rhodey had taken it.

The poor man had walked into the kitchen right at the moment when the mayhem happened. Tony and Peter had gotten into an argument over the placement of the wiring in the ceiling and in frustration Peter had kicked at him. The one holding the ladder for Peter. Not expecting it, he had flinched backwards and slipped on the plastic cover that was protecting the floor and knocked the ladder down. Ben, who was standing on the counter much to May's dismay, managed to catch Peter but they both slipped off into the sink. They had all stared wide eyed at each other, Ben in the sink with Peter draped over him and Tony with the ladder pining him to the floor.

Rhodey of course after realizing no one was hurt, cracked up laughing which caused everyone else to start laughing. He quickly grabbed Peter's camera which was laying on the abandoned rollaway island right by the entrance to the kitchen and snapped the photo of them all laughing at each other. Aunt May was just amused by them all and shook her head at the scene. Although she did refuse to coddle any of them despite the bruising they ended up with.

"Wow. The bedazzled frame suits that photo to a T." Ben snorted, glancing down at the photo from behind his wife.

Tony shrugged as he pulled his son off the floor, "You didn't let me buy her a car. I had to splurge somewhere."

After repeated attempts at giving the two expensive gifts and having the two refuse to keep them, damn Ben and his pride, he searched stores all over trying to think of a perfect gift. He even pulled Pepper along to help him. His poor PA had to struggle to get him into department stores or had attempted to. She tried to pull him into a Sears or JcPenny but Tony's feet refused to step into them. Macy's was a lost battle too. Nordstrom was acceptable. Course she told him the frame was a bit too much but "But Pepper it's so SPARKELY. You know May loves her bling." Course Tony pulled Pepper into a Neiman Marcus afterwards to buy her thank you shoes for all the trouble.

"No cars! Can you imagine this menace on the street?"  
Ben cringed as May lifted her arm threatening to smack him again.

May turned back to Tony, "Thank you Tony. I couldn't think of a better gift. "

Tony preened. Oh yeah. Who's the best gifter now?Pride filled him. He rocked on his heels with a grin.

"Even if the frame is a bit ostentatious."

Or not. Tony's shoulders drooped, "I can take it back."  
He tried so hard. Why is this so hard. He thought back at his childhood, usually he built his mother something. Maybe he should have tried that. Or maybe at least he should have tried the Macy's.

"No take backs!" May exclaimed clutching the frame to her chest, "this is mine!" She looked down and ran a finger down at the stones and pearls covering the metal, "It's beautiful, I love it. Especially the photo."

May give him a grateful look that warmed his heart before placing the frame on the mantel. "Thank you Tony." She kissed his cheek to which he raised his eyebrows to, and flashed a grin to Ben. The man just rolled his eyes.

"Can we eat noooow?" Peter whined as he tried to pull away from his father's squid like arms which were wrapping themselves around the teen again. Tony only hugged him closer. "Uuuughhh." Peter dangled his head dramatically and made a strangled noise as Tony kissed his forehead. He would never stop showing his son affection. Ever. His treasured memories of his childhood were those of hugs and kisses. Peter will thank him later.

"Come on you two, breakfast is waiting. Buttermilk biscuits waffles with country gravy and sausages!" May announced as she walked back into the kitchen.

In a second, Tony tossed Peter at Happy and followed her footsteps as if he was a starved puppy, "Oh yessss! Hearty homemade southern food! Marry me, divorce Ben and marry me. How do you feel about California coastlines?"

Peter and his uncle glanced at each other before rolling their eyes.

"Daaad." Peter groaned following next.

Ben just chuckled as he clapped Happy on the shoulder and lead the man to the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woops so much fluff. My subconscious demands it after civil war pretty much shoved cap's shield into my heart.
> 
> Next chapter is Ben and Tony bonding as well as M.J. And Tony bonding. And Peter running off and ruining daddy son bonding time to see his bff which causes Tony feels.
> 
> So much happens before Vegas/Afghanistan for more delicious pain and angst later on. Hehe. Be patient!


	3. The Stark Jar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony steals food from his bodyguard, Peter ditches his dad. Tony is jealous. Rhodey has a million nicknames. Tony's credit card ends up in the swear jar and Mary Jane makes an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. My life has been insanely busy this summer but it's finally died down and here you go!

*

"I haven't eaten a breakfast like that in...wait I don't eat breakfast." Tony rubbed his stomach sinking into his chair, "Ugh so full." 

"Then stop picking at my plate, boss." Happy sighed as a fork that wasn't his stole another bite from his waffle. 

Tony grinned as he put said waffle piece in his mouth. 

"You know I find it odd that we eat better here than Mr. Billionaire over there." Peter laughed pointing a thumb at his father. Tony, fighting the urge to flip off his son, stuck his tongue out at him, "Very mature dad."

"There's a difference between eating better and eating expensive." Tony shot back. He's not even going to mention his diet is mostly coffee and liquor. His eating habits were not exactly healthy. "Besides Happy here feeds me sometimes. You should try his grilled cheese."

"Of all the meals I've prepared for you boss and you're recommending the grilled cheese."

"Yeah but the way you make it makes it like a heart attack in a bun. All those gooey cheeses and the toasted bun and all that buttery goodness." Tony sighed in happiness, "Now that is heaven on earth... Now I'm hungry again."

Happy scooted his plate closer as Tony eyed it again.

Uncle Ben rolled his eyes at Tony's pout as he turned on the small TV set in the kitchen. 

"You know I could get you a bigger one. TV that is." A fork wagged in the direction of the television.

"No no. Aunt May would never finish cooking!"

"Hey hey. Don't you start as well." May gave Peter a pointed look as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

Tony snorted, "Speaking of buying you thiings.."

"Oh no. I knew that frame was too small of a gift for you!" Ben sighed. Tony grinned, eyebrows wagging. 

"Hey, I resent that." Tony nervously slipped an envelope across the table, "This is for both of you. You know. To, uh, thank you for everything."

He watched as the couple glanced at each other before looking in the envelope. He regretting eating so much as his stomach turned in anticipation.

"I thought you two could use a vacation by yourselves since I'll be taking Peter for the summer. You know keep the love alive and all that jazz!"

" A cruise to-" May's eyes widened,"Paris?! Tony, that's-"

"No no. Don't you two start!" Tony frowned cutting off the 'Tony we don't want your money' lecture, " I want you two to enjoy the summer. Your boarding, your hotel and your meals are all taken care of. Even the booze if you want any is taken care of! The only thing you have to pay for is any souvineers." 

Tony paused for a second before reaching for his wallet, "I'm an idiot, here take some cash, you're not paying a cent on this trip. You won't have Peter to take care of, you deserve this alone time. Please. I don't have anyone else to spoil..well besides Peter but he has his sugar daddy of a best friend for that."

Tony's lips curled down as he pushed the tickets forward, "Please, if there's anyone in this world who deserves this vacation, it's you two."

"Tony. You know you don't have to-"

"I'm not taking them back."

A silence ran through the room before Ben sighed, "..okay. Thank you Tony."

Tony grinned, "Yay! Also so either I'm feeling overly generous or guilty for taking your nephew for so long, I'm not too sure ,so is there anything that needs fixing besides your car?"

"DISHWASHER!" 

Tony jumped as everyone turned to May in surprise. Who knew the woman had such lungs.

She laughed in embarrassment, "I mean the dishwasher. That way we don't have to buy a new one."

"Done." Tony grinned as he looked over at his new patient. He may have flinched at the sight of the ancient thing, "How old is that thing? Looks like Captain America would have used it."

Immediately a ton of ideas came into mind on how to make it more efficient. Hell, the appliance isn't even going to look the same when he's done with it. Maybe he could put in an A.I. to help May. 

"Please don't make it come to life." Ben frowned as if he could hear Tony's thoughts.

"If I lost a dollar for every time someone said that to me I'd be living on the streets." Tony's eyes rolled, "Peter and I can knock both these projects out before we leave in the morning."

"....."

"Peter?" Tony realized his son has been quiet for a while. That usually doesn't mean great news. His son was as vocal as he was. 

"Huh?" Peter forcefully dragged his eyes away from the television as if he felt all of kitchen occupants eyes turning towards him.

Tony kept silent as his eyes hit the small screen. Osborn. His lip curled down. That brat was home again. Of course. It's as if muttering his name summons the demon. Note to self: Don't joke about the kid unless you want him at your front door.

"Um. I gotta go!" 

"What? Hold on. We have to work on the dishwasher and the...car. Hey!" Tony stood up from his chair as Peter ran back upstairs, "Peter!"

"Come on, you know that your boy has always had a soft spot for Harry." May's lips curled around the mug in her hands, "I'm honestly surprised he didn't run out the door the second we turned the tv on."

Tony rolled his eyes. "He's a spoiled rich ass."

The swear jar appeared in front of his coffee mug. He blinked at it before shoving a bill in it.

Ben scoffed, "Hmm. Where have I heard that before?"

"Exactly my point. Look how messed up I am. Kid is probably just as fucked up if not more." Tony paused before stuffing another bill into the jar at May's obvious fake cough.

"Then don't you think he needs a friend like Peter?"

"He's going to get Pete in trouble. I don't want him making the same mistakes as I did...still do."

"I always believed a friend helps another friend out of trouble, not into it." Ben picked up the plates from the table, "Peter's a good kid. He understands that."

Tony glanced away as Ben's statement. He shrugged as his attention went back to the television. The reporters were hounding outside the Osborn's Park Avenue penthouse trying to get a peek at the young teen. Now that was a familiar sight. He wondered if he had Rhodey at a younger age, maybe he wouldn't have ended up so fucked up.

"Um. You're going to be here all day right, Dad? Can I borrow Happy and the car?" Peter asked as he appeared back in the kitchen.

"Don't ask me. Happy was the one that had plans after dropping us off." Tony shrugged still watching the news deep in thought. 

Happy shook his head, "I have no plans Mini Boss."

*

"Can you believe it, Honeybear?! Ditched by my own blood." Tony ranted at the small cellphone propped by his head. He was currently on the floor of the kitchen with his top half inside the washer machine. The door laid by his feet. He grunted as a bolt refused to budge. A flurry of curses were directed at the bolt.

Rhodey rolled his eyes on the small video screen, "He's a teenager Tony. It happens. Don't make me remind you on how you were his age."

Tony shuddered as earlier thoughts seeped back into his head, "Thank fuck he's not like that. Fuck imagine?"

"I suffered through you Tones. You ran off with girls and boys all the time. I don't need to relive it. Actually I still do since you're always doing that shit. Honestly, I don't see why you dislike his friend so much."

"He's an Osborn," 

"And you're a Stark."

"Yeah. That explains it well enough."

"Oh for the love of- Look Tony. This rivalry bullcrap is going to fuck up your son more than the kid would."

"There's no rivalry going on. Okay, maybe a little but come on! Norman is not a trustworthy guy. There's no accountability in his company. Look at what happened with Mary! I don't want Peter around those fucks."

"Harry is not Norman." Rhodey let out a wear chuckle, "You are such a hypocrite Tony! You're always going on and on about how people compare you to Howard and here you are doing the same to this kid."

"..."

"Look invite the kid to Vegas with us."

"Invite?! The kid can afford his own damn vacation."

"Tony."

"...Fucking BOLT."

"TONY!"

"I'm listening."

"Invite him with us. Get to know him. Hell, look at it this way. At least Peter is going to have a better time. We all know how you get when you're in that city."

"Fuck yeah! Sinning is what I live for Sourpuss." Tony grinned at the phone and then noticed Aunt May standing in the kitchen with the most unamused expression aimed at him. 

"Shit."

"May?"

"Yep."

At May's upturned eyebrow, Tony crawled out of the machine and threw in his Amex into the Stark jar, "Rhodey said naughty words too."

"I'll expect his check in the mail." May threw over her shoulder as she left the kitchen after picking up her purse from the counter. A whine came from the phones speaker.

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus there," Rhodey sighed, "and here I was planning on taking you to something exciting our first night in Vegas."

"Hmm. I think I'll have a great time either way Brownbear."

"I guess you don't want to see that new show you were drooling all over, Tan-White-Italian-whatever the fuck you are-Bear"

"Yeah leave the nicknames to me. Wait! WAIT. You didn't."

"Uh-huh."

"We are talking front row tickets right?"

"And backstage passes. Although I guess I'll have to buy another ticket for Harry."

"Ugh. Buzz kill Rhodes! Anyways I gotta go. I'm getting close to finishing this death trap."

"Ha! The closest you'll get to washing a dish Tones."

Tony rolled his eyes as he hung up the phone. He has so washed a dish. At least he thinks so. He wouldn't put money on it though.

He continued working on the machine for another hour or so. Only stopping for a drink of lemonade from the pitcher that May had left on the counter before she left for work. It was odd being in such a small home all by himself. It was much better than being alone in a large mansion though. 

He wished he grew up in such a small cozy place. Even empty, it had more warmth than his home did. The lack of alcohol was a huge difference. He could hear the bottles being slammed against the wall and drunken yells as if it was happening at that moment.

Wait a minute. 

Tony slowly walked to the back door as he listened to the neighbors argue. A familiar young voice carried through the home and yard. His curiosity won over as he walked outside to the tool shed in the back.

"I don't know where your fucking scotch is!"

"This is bullshit! I work to buy this shit! Stop throwing it aw- Where the fuck are you going?"

"Nowhere! Out!"

"You have to wash the fucking laundry!"

"You wash the laundry!"

Tony scoffed as he fiddled around in Peter's workspace. Guess things weren't so different on this side of the city.

He watched as a red headed teen ran out the house to their backyard and lit up a cigarette.

"Aren't you a little young for that?" He asked coming out of the shed with a bucket and a couple of pliers, "I didn't know you smoked, Watson."

Said teen jumped in surprise, "Mr. Stark! Did you hear all that?"

"Hear what? All these neighbors are screaming at once. Hard to keep track of just one house."

"Peter's aunt and uncle don't scream."

"Yeah well they're a special kind of people. Although we've both seen and heard them yell at Pete so.."

"Couldn't help but overhear something about the rent being past due?"

"Oh. Yeah..since mom passed its been tight with money. Please don't tell Peter! He worries about everyone too much!" She chewed on her nails. "I do little jobs here and there to help but it's hard finding them you know. Wait what am I saying of course you don't know. You're Mr. Stark after all."

"Well today is your lucky day. See here, I have a dishwasher and a car to fix. My lazy ass assistant of a son ran off into the sunset with his long lost bff for the day and I left my bots in LA so I'm in dire need of extra hands." Tony held out one of the pliers in his hand, "What do you say. Pays well. All you have to do is follow directions and put out the cig."

Mary Jane smiled as she grabbed the tool, the cigarette halfway to the ground, "You have yourself an assistant, Mr. Stark."

*

"Grab that screw." Tony grunted as he lifted the machine up. Pesky screw had tried to roll off into oblivion but Tony saw it. And needed it.

"You're not going to drop it on my arm are you?"

"What? No! Well yeah, IF keep taking your sweet time."

"That's not reassuring."

"Just get it! I'll pay your hospital bills."

Mary Jane rolled her eyes at him and scooted forward to reach the elusive screw.

Tony snickered as he let the machine fall a few inches causing the teen to flinch back.

With a glare she flicked the screw at him.

The two worked in sync and silence as they finished up. Mary Jane passed a dish to Tony who just blinked at it. She gestured at the machine but of course, he just raised an eyebrow and turned the machine on dishless.

"That's a waste of water!"

Tony waved her off, "Seems like everything is working right!"

The two shared a high five in triumph with a whoop.

"You know. My mom always wanted a new stove. I wish I bought her one when she was still here." She sighed as she looked around the kitchen.

"Mmm." Tony busied himself with cleaning up all his tools. Nope. Parents and feelings are so not on his approved list of conversation topics. Especially when they're combined.

"It's like sometimes it takes them leaving to make you realize what you had." Mary Jane scoffed, "We think we are the center of everything and we go to sleep trusting that in the morning everything will be the same."

Even as he tried to ignore her, his gut clenched. He just continued to pick up the mess on the floor silently.

" We need to circle the ones we love for as long as they're here. Not the other way around."

"Yeah. Hold them close. One morning they'll be there and another they won't." Tony muttered as he picked at some of the paint chipping off the cupboard.

"Yeah. Which is why I won't give up on my dad. No matter how difficult he makes it." 

Tony glanced up to her giving him a pointed look.

"Peter says you don't talk about what happened to your parents."

Tony shrugged. After a moment of silence he reached down at the washer again, "Here help me get this machine out."

"What?! We just fixed it!"

"Yeah. I just remembered I can afford to buy May a new one." Tony smirked, "Put on your shoes, I'll call Happy to take us to the store. Peter should be done with him by now."

"...can you afford to buy me a new flat iron?"

"...isn't your hair straight already?"

"I need it to curl my hair."

The teen laughed as Tony gave her a confused look.

"Come on!! I'll straighten your hair for you!"

Later when Uncle Ben walked into his kitchen after his shift at work, any annoyance over the different obviously brand new dishwasher (is that a tv is it?!) was buried by the image of Mary Jane casually straightening Tony's hair. She ignored him as Tony glanced up, eyes wide, "I can explain."

"...where's Peter's camera?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter was supposed to be more about Ben than Mary Jane but she snuck into my universe and now has a larger part than I originally planned.
> 
> I'm mixing a couple of her universe selves into a blender for this. Trying to fit her into the MCU is harder than I thought! Excuse my obviously ripped off lines haha 
> 
> Anywho Ben's relationship with Tony is next as well as Peter's and Harry's bff moments. And THEN we are finally off to Vegas where Tony's obsession with a certain hero goes a bit too far.


End file.
